I tried to cheer myself for Eid... and the harder I tried, the more difficult it became for me to be really happy.

To tell you the truth, everyone was trying to seem cheerful and when that happens, you know it is being faked.

It all started when I woke up in the morning and realised it was just another day - not Eid. Eid was many many many miles away - way too many miles for my silly mind to comprehend. It was being celebrated by people in a different world. A third world, where people still cared for each other and the laughs and coy smiles were genuine.

Don't get me wrong. There isn't anything wrong with where I am. It is me. Me. Me. Me. Everything revolves around me. Everything.

I wasn't happy. I'm still not... for it takes more than just a drive to Toronto, food and shopping to cheer me up.

I broke down when I spoke to my mum to wish her Eid Mubarak. Something in her tone, crashed all my defences and made me collapse.

"Why are you crying?" she asked, with all the concern you could put in a short sentence revibrating down the phone lines, bringing me more pain than I could bear.

"I am not...I just woke up," I lied.

But a mother knows when you are lying...something all the other people in the world would never second guess ever...not politicians, not leaders, not teachers nor readers.


Omni said...

It's hard to not be where your heart is...

(all's not well for me, either)

Mo said...

That's why they call it "ghurba".. you really do feel like a fish out of water in times like these.

You shouldn't worry though, it gets easier with each passing Eid. I should know, I'm on a roll of 11 consecutive ones.. and counting! =)

3iedich imbarak!

teddlesruss said...


SillyBahrainiGirl said...

Thanks a bunch everyone.. I will be OK.. I am just being sentimental and silly...and homesick and fed up ..

I need to do something with my time here :)

Playing poker online all day isn't fun anymore ;)

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