There are obnoxious people out there who make me wonder why I should be wasting my time, my energy and my skills doing everything I do everyday - from the minute I wake up in the morning.
As usual, I am rushing this post because it is past my bedtime..but I hope I manage to make some sense in a largely senseless world. Fridays tend to be busy for me because as a real person, with a real life, living in a real world, I have one day off per week (if I am lucky), during which I have to catch up with everything and everyone I missed during the week in one day.
Some joker, and I won't tell you who, has left a message on this blog with the question: if you don't like it (wonderland) so much, why don't you leave.
At first I ignored it. Who would listen to a fool? But then the silly girl in me started to think about it. Why don't I leave?
leave
stay
leave
stay
leave
stay
That's the question.. I don't have the answer for. YET.
The truth is I get a lot of chances to pack up and leave. The last was an offer in a neighbouring country only a silly girl would turn down. It's almost four times my income now..with a lot of perks. But then I think..if people like me who are loyal to the sand of wonderland and its real people leave, who will be left in this place? Do I leave it to the ass-lickers and the creepy crawlies and the fools, who are running us to the ground everyday with their knee jerk reactions.
I know I can't change the world. I also know I can't continue to take things to heart and care about things for much longer, because they are taking a toll on me.
Warda from Oman wonders if it is a mid life crisis while Ba7rania reckons it is a state of never-ending PMS... Sume says I need a break and my grandad says he wants to see me happy - again.
Maybe the answer is in packing up and giving my back to this cesspit..where things go around in a vicious circle and where the sun is never given a chance to shine.
2 July 2005
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11 comments:
condisending??
oops.. it's past my bedtime anyway joker...
u crack me up!
Dont worry SBG, if you arent pissing some people off you arent doing your job right. What matters is the sort of people you piss off. From the looks of it you are pissing off the right people. Good on you!
Dont let the homar get you down.
Odd A.. who said I am leaving? I am just speaking my mind out loud!
I hope I am not sending the wrong messages and I know it isn't as easy as it sounds. I can't bear the thought of being away from my family for an indefinite period of time.
Abu Sinan..no one can get me down.. I am already there :)
And Joker..please take it easy. everyone makes mistakes. But this still doesn't make u stupid. Nobody said u were stupid. At least I didn't. I mean, you did.
But no hard feelings...really..
I mean I am not the one who opened this door by suggesting that I leave Wonderland becauseI am not happy about a few things.
It was your smart idea. Thanks ;) I owe you one.. I mean, if and when I really do leave... it will be thanks to your great idea, wisdom and dedication to the human race!
what does joker want from silly girl?
i have said it plain and simple: "I know I can't change the world. I also know I can't continue to take things to heart and care about things for much longer, because they are taking a toll on me."
what more do u want? i don't want to continue apologising for things which i didnt say or intend... but i don't feel that i talk down to people. i never did.
joker .. please take a step back and take a deep breath and think before u answer me: what have a done to offend you?
Funny, I always took your criticism as a sign of how much you cared for your home. It's tough putting yourself out there and speaking your mind knowing you're going to get flack for it.
It's easy to sit behind a screen of anonymity and screech your head off. You have my respect, girl...full stop.
Some people in the US were screaming at protesters against the invasion of Afghanistan and Iraq telling the to love it or leave it. That support your country right or wrong mentality is nothing more than blind nationalism. Make a positive post of what you do like about Wonderland. When you get someone calls you unpatriotic or disloyal, point them to that. I dunno, just a dumb suggestion from one silly girl to another. ;)
Like your cusses! be chauvinistic...
thanks a lot.. of course I carry a lot of love for Wonderland. i never doubted that for a second. and it is because of this that i (and all the other bloggers) spend time and energy doing what we do.
Fighting for what you believe in is very honorable. But sometimes I wonder if I would not be better off moving to a country that is more open to the sort of change I want to see happen in my lifetime.
Go, open your mind!, but dont forget yours.... ;)
thanks Bronxbob.. what you are saying makes sense. also, i am not afraid of censorship because laws are made to be twisted and bend.
I don't want to escape to where there's more freedom and a bigger scope to develop myself and potential because that will be selfish...and I was never selfish. I mean, I can't be. I mean, I stil don't want to be.
I am thinking more of a gap year. Somewhere exotic. or cram lots of places. Lemme see.
You guys are giving me lots of ideas. Thanks Joker once again, for your inspiration.
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