feeling down ...

It's happening again.. and I have been feeling a bit down lately. I have a million and one things to do and have to catch up or fall back behind .. and never pick up where I left of. Yesterday I woke up at 6am, only to go to sleep at 7.14am. I woke up at 2pm, completely disorientated .. for I never sleep during the day. The rest of the day went up in flames, as I sat sulking.. that I have wasted a whole day and had nothing to show for it. Fine, dinner was sumptuous.. but I now have to wash the dishes and pots and clean the kitchen. There's nothing called a free dinner - even at home.

The choice is mine.. and with a bit of luck, kicking myself hard in the butt, soul searching, threats and telling myself that I have to get on track again or else.. there is no way I can undo this mess.

Speaking of a mess, my apartment looks as if it had been nuked. The fridge needs to be cleaned up, the laundry needs to be done, the bedding changed; bills to be sorted out and paid; articles have to be written; I am behind on translation work I have had pending for a while; I have a 101 appointments to make and people to call.. and I don't know where to start.

And then I have people telling me how great it is to be at home.. to work from home and not to worry about getting up in the morning and rushing to work. Sure, if you have a housemaid, to pick up after you, it is great to be at home.. but if you have to clean, sweep, wash and dust; correspond; email; write; think; play solitaire, Sudoku and online Scrabble and other computer games on hours on end; think some more; play Chuzzle (it is so cute and addictive I warn you) and think some more; there is hardly any time to do anything else.

Where do I start? emmmm... and what's made me so behind.. I am such a control freak I had everything working like clockwork for me.. What's happened.. Perhaps it is better for everyone not to dig too much in the past and just move on.

So long people.. I will now dive into the work at hand.