Home Sweet Home ..

"When are you coming back home?" you ask.
Soon.
Very soon.
I was just taking a break. I too deserve a break.

It baffles me how people in Bahrain think I am nuts when I talk to them about how I yearn to return. In my first year here, I returned to Bahrain THREE times.. Coming back here was harder and harder every time, to the extent that I started dreading going back .. because I knew that after a short honeymoon, I will be back to the four walls of my self-exile.

When back home, I tried to detach myself ... here, I religiously read the papers, the blogs and forums to sniff what is happening. It wasn't just because I was a journalist that I was interested... it was because I always knew that this 'break' was temporary and I would ultimately be back.

I didn't make the best of my time here. I didn't do what I wanted. I didn't achieve much personally. I don't have an MA or a Phd.. I didn't hone my artistic skills.. I didn't do many of the things I has always wanted when I finally had my one break out of a busy schedule.

Workwise, I flourished. I wrote and networked and attended conferences and spoke at them. I learned so much and even conquered my terror of stage fright. I am now a certified house-keeper and sous chef.. and many other things I don't want to brag about.

But there still remains a void. No matter what I do it means nothing compared to the pain of being away from home, family, friends and people who really love and appreciate me.

I miss my Bahrain. I miss the silliness and stupidity.. the weird phony accents.. the fact that there is no where to go and we end up in the same places, ordering the same things, talking about the same topics.. Everyday repeating itself the next day .. Deja vu? Nah.. That my dear friends is why it was originally named Dilmun - the Land of Eternity. Because nothing ever changes .. and everyday is the same .. you never feel the passage of time.. You live in eternal bliss, chaos, corruption, whoring, lying, cheating or silliness.. whatever you make out of it. It doesn't matter. Nothing really matters when you get a chance to shamelessly repeat the same mistakes again and again and again... with every new day that repeats itself.