People are still asking me about this incident, as if I am now the cherry expert.

"Is it a big deal?" you ask.
"Yes, it is... because in our culture a girl has to have her hymen intact until is married."

"And what if ....?"
"Well, in that case, she makes arrangements to get it fixed. A hymen replacement surgery is an easy tuck job from what I have heard."

"What about girls born without it?"
"They live to hope and pray I suppose."

"How much would that operation cost?" you continue your interrogation.
"I haven't had to do it so I really don't know ... but I know two girls in Bahrain who have and I can check with them for you."

"What about boys in your society? Should they too be virgins?"
"The rules are different for boys ... in a hypocritical society, there is a different measuring stick for the sins girls commit, and another one, using a different numerical system for boys. Born equal in the eyes of God, men and women are worlds apart in the eyes of men."

"And this Tunisian girl...What will happen to her?"
"No idea. I still don't understand why she made a big fuss about it to begin with. The story says the man hasn't even laid a finger at her."

6 comments:

Hani Obaid said...

I don't understand why the article calls it a phone rape. I mean:
A. she was stimulating herself
B. She could have hung up anytime

Still there are stranger things. For example a woman who tells her boyfriend Anal sex is Haram but doesn't mind having sex with him even though they're not married.

Arima said...

@ hani: personally I think it would be stranger the other way round and that does happen often in arab culture to avoid the issue of breaking the hymen.

More generally though, I have no idea why the hymen is such a big issue in Arab culture since it has been proved conclusively that only a minority of women do actually bleed the first time- many women are born without a hymen or with an elastic one. I have a friend who was told by her Doctor whilst giving birth that she was still technically a virgin.
This aspect of Arab culture totally disgusts me!

Hani Obaid said...

Arima, that's why I made the connection, the fact that some people do it so as not to break the hymen, but I understand that since it means they're not really conservative or religious, but they understand that many Arab males would prefer their new wife to be "in tact" on their wedding day. One Person I know put it this way: "I don't want someone else to open my present".

S.B.H. sorry for being so graphic, but the whole subject is graphic!

Arima said...

I see what you mean...it is such a vile attitude. I just wrote a post about this tradition

Justice defender said...

why dont u post doctors names and numbers who do the opreation

and if two of ur friend had done it i cant say no more than u can know the person from his/her friends

am not a man of religion but its wronge to advirtise hymen surgery as OK its not
and from my med. background it dosnt work all the time and like cars guys can test his girls virginity unless she takes it from the back
then he can use the 50% vodka 50% mirnda then she will sing her life story like a bird x)

taamarbuuta said...

I have to agree with Arima on this one - I still don't understand why it's such a big deal in Arab - as well as many other - cultures.

There needs to be more awareness of what "virginity" in the medical sense vs. the religious sense means; there also needs to be more accountability for men (in EVERY culture - there's a double standard in the U.S. on this subject as well - a non-virgin woman can still be "damaged goods" but it's expected that a man have "experience").

/rant.

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