Here's a silly one, courtesy of a friend of mine, to break the cycle of dumb politics and futile discussions about history, legacy, legitimacy and all that stuff which is good for old boring textbooks which gather dust and no one reads...

emmm... reading? Why are we (arabs) a nation which doesn't read? Dunno and it's worth a post on its own..one day, when I get to read statistics about literacy in the arab world...surprise, surprise..tomorrow is world literacy day.. congrats.. I mean, what the heck? I am doing the same dumb ass thing all those knowledgable people are doing. Writing about literacy to people who can read... Don't you think that it's pointless to count the colours of a rainbow to the blind?

In reply to a previous post, a commentator said that my posts are confusing and cram a lot of things in one point. Exactly. That is done with a purpose, and it is not by any means an opportunity to flex my muscles and show the rest of the world how versatile I am.. emm... is it versatile or versace? dunno...

But this is arabs for you... anyway, the point of this post is to share this joke with you.. and don't come back to me with a sermon about prejudice and equality and promiscious acts and the use of swear words on a public forum..

Please leave the sermons for Friday.. wonder what will they be about this week: the fact that Bahrain donated an undisclosed amount to the victims of the Imam Moosa Al Kadhem mosque stampede only after it was criticised for donating $5 million (hahaha - considering that Qatar donated $100m and Kuwait $500m and Afghanistan $500,000) towards the Katrina relief fund...

dunno... but that wasn't the joke. The loss of human life should not be taken lightly. Anyway, here's some relief in a stressful world..

POSTMAN PATS LAST DAY @ WORK

It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns.

When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him
on his way with a gift cheque for £50.

At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch. The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde in her lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had enough they went downstairs, where the dumb blonde fixed him a full George Best breakfast: Bacon, Eggs, Sausage & Tomato with freshly-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a £5 note sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the five quid for?" "Well," said the dumb blonde, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you."

"I asked him what to give you."
He said, "Fuck him. Give him a fiver."
She smiled shyly and said, "The breakfast was my idea ! "

Hope you liked it.. It left me rolling with laughter ;)

21 comments:

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Bedoon_Esam said...

Hilarious, gr8 one managed to change my grim mood after a day spent in mindless meetings.

Mohammed said...

I think your blog has a spam ( first comment ) .

Well I like the joke , it was funny .

about the topic of reading and why arabs don't read . actually if we take Bahrain as a model , visit any Book exhibition in Bahrain , and count how where the majority of the visitors go . either Islamic books sections , or ( zodiac silly books ) . for the first type most of them the buy the book for show off and to decorate their house . and none of them complete the first chapter of the book . the other sector of people who focus on the zodiac , I don't care about them because they aren't readers . I remember that during 90's we have a big lack of the Islamic literate who read in many other sectors of knowledge , for example at that time you will not find a religous person will read any thing for maybe carl marks or even for najeeb mahfood or any (( Haram as tey say )) topics. and that because of the fanatic preachers . I remembered I was listening to (S. Dyaa Almousawi) in during Muharram 3 years ago , he was warning the people from reading a novel for a serian author called (( Haidar haidar )) and the novel name is (وليمة لأعشاب البحر ) that story was very interesting and and there was a small sentence says (( that religon is shit )) for me it was normal sentence since the character is a communist . and the preacher was angry from that sentence ...silly thing !! . Salman Rushdy with his story (( satanic verses )) it was a bad story when the critics read it ,but that Fatwa of killing him gave him an internation reputation that he doesn't deserve . I like to be freedom in reading what I want and reading about all the topic available to me .

about donations , I don't want to comment on it , I want peace in my soul and I don't want gain more (( HARRAH )) . 5 million dollars for the richest country and they said that there no mor budget to raise salaries or Bonus ........ F**K em'all 238#@U%!&#h65#! <--- insult

raf* said...

sbg-

that joke came just at the right time ... thanks.

as for the spam -> just turn on "word verification" in the blog settings.

damn zionists.

-raf*

حسن الخزاعي said...

Good one SBG, I hope it helps me changing the grim mood. I couldn't write anything for the last two days and I don't know if this one will help!!

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