Just as adding Palin to the Republican ticket has brought us all comic relief, I find the unwitting telemarketers who are unfortunate enough to dial my number left in as much shock as we are over Palin or laughing until they wet their knickers. 

A poor chap just called asking me if I was interested in a new phone service, which offers lower rates for calls across Canada and the US. 

My calm response was: 

"Thank you... but I don't use the phone." 
"Yes maam.. you use the Internet." 
"No. Pigeons." 
"Pardon." 
"PIGEONS." 
"Excuse me?" 
"Pi-geons." 
Silence, followed by: 
"Ok. Thank you maam." 

You are more than welcome. And stop calling me. And even more urgent, stop calling me 'maam,' F*@kface!

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