My last day at work was on Thursday..

I am moving to Canada in two weeks max...

What will I miss in Wonderland... dunno... Shawarmas I suppose!

Hubby is worried by my total lack of emotions. He reckons it will hit me hard later. That I am going through the motions of denial...etc... some psychology shit he had read in his medical books.

My colleagues had a farewell dinner at Sato on Wednesday.. Thursday went with a flash.. Friday is Friday - a day in the twilight zone... between work and no work and then work again!

And now Saturday.. no work.. no emotions.. no feelings.. dunno.. Am I really under-reacting? Will I react? Will I not react? dunno..

All I know is that I don't know what to do.. where do I start from? Do I start packing? Do I get my paper work in order? Do I leave everything hanging to the last minute?

A million things are going on in my head right now.. and I don't know what they are? A lot of confusing clashing voices.. and I really can't deal with the mob right now! They are telling me to do this, do that, be here, go there, start packing, say goodbye to people... tell people you are leaving (hahaha) - Did I mention that not many people know I am leaving.. have left work.. will leave Wonderland???

Don't know where to start.. I know the coward in me will just leave...shut the door behind me.. and pick up later on.. Do I owe anyone an apology? Did I pay my dues to society? What do I tell my mother: that I have always always always wanted to leave? That I didn't have the guts to do it before.. that I now have a good excuse to turn my back to this messy existance.. that I STILL don't know what I want to do?

What will I do in Canada? Dunno... I swear.. Hubby is trying to talk me into doing a degree. All I am thinking of is unwinding and relaxing for a bit and then deciding what I would like to do.

Is this too much to ask for someone who has been flogged all her life?

23 comments:

Silver Fox said...

Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!

I'm willing to pay you $10 - $50 hr to work at home. Hey, there's no investment. All you need to do is visit my website and sign-up for free.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)

Mahmood Al-Yousif said...

People pay big money for a fresh start in life. Use it wisely, and keep a spare bedroom handy for when I come to visit!

MuppetLord said...

Canada? Well for a start, think about getting thermals.....it gets cold up there.

I reckon you should start packing now...then when you get to Canada you can take it easy for a while.

Have fun! :D

Abu Sinan said...

Canada? I hope you like the cold weather! Canada is a great place and the people are awesome. A degree is a good idea, many people come here to the west with their husbands and completely waste their time.

If you ever head to the DC area, let me and Manal know, we'll take you out to dinner.

I HATE moving, I have done it about 4 times in the last ten years. Even if the job moves you, picks up everything, unpacks it, you name it, it still sucks. I wish you luck.

Blewyn said...

Haha I've lived in 5 different places in the last 18 months..and my poor wife in 6 !

Canada ! Mountain walking, kayaking, rowing, skiing, mountainbiking....bliss...

/T/ said...

Good luck on your move. What I hear from people is that Canada is a great country to live in. I myself will leave the US in 2 weeks from now and trade that in for Sweden. Being a European I think I will enjoy being back after more than 5 years.

DevilishAngel said...

Bissalama, I hope you find what you're looking for! Where in Canada will you be moving to? My bro lives in Montreal and I visited him a few times when I was on college, its a wonderful wonderful city, btw if you need a helping hand up there let me know, my bro will be more than willing to assist am sure :)

Bedoon_Esam said...

SBG wish u all the best in your move, u r doing the right thing dont plan dont move a finger let the flow take you, Why worry u decided to go so just go.

Keep the blog going for all us fans out here,

Inshallah will be following you to Canada shortly..........not to stalk u or anything...I was on the way anyways u just beat us to it

sume said...

So you're finally going! Best wishes, girl! I hope the move goes smoothly and you get settled in quickly. Hope you like the cold! You can always pop down and visit me if it gets too bad!

ES said...

This post is depressing for some reason.

I don't even know you, yet I can feel the hole you'll leave in Bahrain.

Whatever you do in Canada, keep blogging.

Wardat_il'7leej said...

Best of luck girl...wishing you all the best

An echo of everyone else: KEEP BLOGGING

luckyfatima said...

which city in canada? good luck habibti...oh if it's Vancouver or toronto u can probably find shawerma there, too...but not as good and convenient as backhome :)

Abdulhadi Khalaf said...

All the best.

Hope you find time to read and reflect on some of the works of
One of Canda's great souls: Charles Taylor.

His short piece on "Multiculturalism", (and the comments it recieved from Appiah, Habermas and others) must be a must for a 'new Canadian! ;)

BTW the cold is overexagerated.

Roonie said...

Girl, you are excited. And you shouldn't feel bad to feel excited about it. It's a new start, a nice fresh one, and you have been aching for it for so long. There's no reason to feel regret when you're looking forward to this - and you don't have any regrets about leaving!

teddles_russ said...

Please stay in touch! I would miss you...

Chuffy Krumhorn said...

WELCOME TO CANADA!
You now have a friend to visit in Halifax, Nova Scotia...and I have much family in the West (just outside of Edmonton , Alberta) who would also be honoured to assist you / show you around if you are ever out that way.
*It's no colder here than it is in many northern States.
Americans always come up here with skis in July wondering where all the snow is...(!?) heheh.
Our summers can get uncomfortably hot, as a matter of fact.Our Autumns are spectacular (Winter can be chilly, is all...).
Let us know how it goes!
BTW...Love the "Brazilian" joke! That is how I found your blog (googled the joke)
Bet we have very similar political views...
I am one Canadian who is very active in voicing my hatred for American foreign policy.
-As a matter of fact, I took my youngest son to a rally just this past Sept 24th.
I will try to start a blog, but may not write much in the beginning (--I have a VERY high maintenance baby!) I will periodically check in and follow your blog, however, to see how things are going for you.
If I can help in any way, please let me know!
Warmest regards,
Shannon
("Chuffy Krumhorn")

Hasan the Not-So-Great said...

hows canada?

Angelo Embuldeniya (Strav) said...

Congrats SBG! Your dreams of snowland have come true!

Oh... and if you're not used to thermals or really strong wind chill... don't step into Nova Scotia or Winnipeg.... grt places to check out between the months of July-September tho!

Keep blogging!

sume said...

Knock....knock...

Mike C said...

Well, if you're going to Toronto, make sure to consider stopping here:
http://www.ontariosciencecentre.ca/

and maybe here:

http://www.algonquinpark.on.ca/

And of course, welcome to the continent!

yochanan said...

SHWARMAS YOU CAN GET IN CANUKISTAN
(AKA CANADA)

marco said...

Canada?? lol... what a change!
Good luck ;)

marco
www.elblogdemarco.com

Catman said...

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