The dust and heat are wreaking havoc with me. For some reason, the floodgates of tears waiting to be unleashed have evaporated and all that is left is a trickle which resembles a constipated pee, forcing itself to come out when nothing else in this barren desert wants to move. 

I have been having this urge to cry for a few days .. perhaps a week or more .. certainly more .. and the tears just refuse to fall. These are the same tears which come to me naturally, the very tears I expertly summon or shyly wipe away, depending on the occasion and audience. They too have let me down. 

And now they refuse to cooperate, leaving me with prickly dry eyes, a heavy feeling in my chest and a sense of uselessness. I haven't quite figured out what it is that is creating this feeling when I tell myself how thankful I should be now that I am back home, to my family and friends, a job and a social life. Amid all this, something is amiss. And in all this noise, all I want is a quiet corner, where I can rest my head and cry. Once I have let those tears out, perhaps I might become more enlightened and know what it is I so need to cry over.

5 comments:

Andrew Gardner said...

Silly Bahraini Girl,

I'm sorry to post this here in your comments, but I've been unable to find a way to privately contact you via this blog. I will soon publish an academic book concerning Bahrain, and in the manuscript I have an extensive (and insightful) quote from your blog. In order to publish this, however, the press needs your permission. Would it be possible for you to contact me? I'll give you a much longer description of the text I'm hoping to use, and I'd be happy to answer any other questions you might have. My email address is andrewmgardner (at) gmail (dot) com. Please feel free to delete this comment, as I know it doesn't fit here.

Best wishes,

Andrew

farhad said...

Hello I am Sha!
Assalam-o-Alaikum!
I really like & love the arabic as a "Language".
The impression I got immediately after I
completed MA English was that I should have
studied "Arabic".
I have grown a strong passion and attachment
for Arabic and the Arabs. How much it can last?
This is what i don't know nor am much sure about
but if your gals and guys out there help me, my
love might become fruitful for me.
Why do i like and love arabic and the Arabs?
This is sort of expansive questions.
I only know that Arabic is soft, smooth
and melodius.
The Arabs are loving, sincere and sobre.
Well, what I don't know is if they are
lovers of their language too or not.
I aspire to someday talk fluently in arabic.
Talk to my friends. But can i attract Arabic
-speakers to my self by speaking their lang-
uage is yet another thing to be experienced
still.
Arabic is the language of the Muslims but i do
believe ALLAH will hear and help me even when
i speak my mother tongue to ask him. I am
sensitive to the degree that if i like something
just for the sake of some good and great point
in it and I am not answered positively.... I
really begin to hate that thing. Well i don't
know why should i do it but still here i am to
do it. I like to chat, sing, speak, think, write
and argue in Arabic. I have no intention to
visit an Arabic speaking country as yet but
can it be helpful enough in learning a language to
personally visit the country where it is spoken?
Because we have been in this country of ours for
since our birth but still we haven't got command
and control over the national language spoken
here. Does it go to say that it doesn't matter
a lot to visit a country for the solitary purpose
of learning a language spoken there? I like the
h sound of Arabic and also I like it for not
having the clattering sounds of t,d etc. I
want to have good really good arabic language
friends. I can teach you English "only and only
if you think you need it". I should thank you
in advance if you think my love for Arabic and
the Arab is something valuable.
With best regards it is farhad (underscore)
alishah (at) yahoo (dot) com
my cell number is zerozeroninetwothreeonetwo
fivezerotwozeroeighteighteight
Wassalam-o-Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah!
( I shall be really anxiously waiting for
the language friend of my dreams.
How can i say in Arabic
"The lover and Admirer of Arabic as a Language"
Bubye thanks

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