I am feeling hot and flustered - sick. 

I am breaking into sweats; I'm in a trance; I don't know what to do or where to start doing what I am supposed to be doing; and to add insult to injury, I am going around myself in circles. 

In short, I am doing exactly what I told myself weeks ago that I wouldn't be doing. And what am I doing now? Blogging about not being able to do what I told myself I would be doing a gazillion of times before - and I am not getting anything done.

I have six suitcases open across the apartment. I have a vacuum cleaner standing erect in the middle of the living room. Now if that vacuum cleaner had a spine, it would clean up the place and put all my stuff in the suitcases right?  I also have to wash some clothes - I mean how bad would I look returning home, with a bagful of dirty clothes? And the dish washer is wide open, hitting me and bruising my legs every time I try to squeeze into the kitchen. 

The limo is picking us up at 5pm - and that gives me five hours to clean, wash, shower, pack my bags, do some pending work, fix a quick lunch and set off on my long trek back to Wonderland. 

And what am I doing now exactly again? Zilch. Nada. Nothing. Cypher. Zero. I am panicking. Big time. I am flustered and tired and fed up and have had it. 

I just want to shut my eyes and feel the ground at the Bahrain International Airport. And then all these feelings will be bottled up for next time - and replaced with sheer anger, frustration of a different kind, and a feeling of loss at being in a place I love so much and feel so useless that I can't do anything constructive in. 

Welcome home, I suppose.

10 comments:

Summer said...

Have a safe trip back home! and of course, enjoy your stay in Bahrain.

Taro Head said...

Safe journey, Amoor. Kiss Bahrain for me.

questfortherightone.blogspot.com said...

Fabulous blog. I'm an arab living out in the west and just recently entered this thing called a blogosphere. If my brain ticks and my heart throbs, then you'll like the topic i picked for my blog. If not, means I have an un-ticking brain? :)

check me out at www.questfortherightone.blogspot.com

Best, and thanks for the mumbai piece, much needed.

Quest

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ahsan said...

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Alena said...

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

Alena

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عسل said...

برامج إقلاع سوفت - دليل برامج إقلاع سوفت
حيرةوبم ميران المصريين العاملين
الجودة :قطاع
قطاع الاتصالات

mijoy said...

welcome back to Bahrain......
Give us back a bit of your pen work in GDN... atlest for some days......

s said...

I tend to read your blogs at times too. I am planning to visit bahrain too prolly end of this year. Please write more about Bahrain and places to visit for people like me who will be first-timers there. Enjoy your stay. sf

Ahsan said...

what a cool blog this is.i really liked it.
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