The transition from 2006 to 2007 has had its moments, if I should be courteous in summing up my feelings. And 2007 has all the signs of being a BIN GAHBA* of a year.

I have just recovered from what could be described as the flu of the century. I don't know what it was but I was flat on my back in bed for about three weeks. The symptoms ranged from fever, shivering, running nose (and stomach), vomiting and nausea. And my tonsils were killing me.. And that cough.. If you hadn't known better.. you would have thought I was a maniac chain smoker. Yuck!! The thought of that repulsive smoke curling its way out of my lips! For a moment I thought that it could be some bug I caught in India, while attending the Global Voices Summit.. haha .. but then it just wouldn't go! I really thought I was dying..but that's not to be. Not yet, at least.

And since I was recovering and since I was 60% functional.. I left my deathbed and ventured my way up north to the Great White Canadian Plains. I knew deep inside my heart it wasn't a good start when the prostitute at the check-in counter at the Bahrain International Airport turned around and yelled: "Mohammed..where will this Toronto be!" I think I still have brain damage from the noise the alarm bells which rang in my head made. What a cow! Why was she standing there in front of me? To pay me for the look I gave her, she gave me what was probably the worst seat on the plane.. a Gulf Air plane mind you! I was sandwiched between two fat people, who fell asleep stranding me in my place for a good 10 hours. Yes.. It takes Gulf Air 10 hours to fly from Bahrain to Heathrow because there is always some technical error somewhere which they need to fix.. and the fuckers took their own sweet time fixing their problems at my expense, regardless of the fact that I had a connecting flight which I would miss no matter what. Also, the fact that I can't sleep on planes was irrelevant to anyone I suppose.

At Heathrow, you have to go through the indignity of taking off your shoes as though you were entering a Mosque. Security procedures..What ever! And hours later.. millions of Indians rubbing themselves against me..and pushing and pulling me in all directions..I arrive at the Air Canada counter..where I am told that my plane had taken off (without me).. and that I may or may not find a seat on the next plane.

Back to the Gulf Air counter and more name calling and yelling and swearing.. and the ground staff walks over to the Air Canada counter and comes back with my boarding pass. Pussy power wins! Yey! I go back and ask the asshole to ensure that my baggage goes with me on the same plane.. and he says.. yes.. of course. What a pompous bastard. He looked like he had something stuck up his arse.

Anyway..this time occupying an aisle seat..I sit back trying to watch The Queen, The Departed and an assortment of other movies (which weren't being shown on Gulf Air because their technical glitch meant that their entertainment system wouldn't work)..while trying to keep my mind off the fat Pakistani or Indian lesbian who was rubbing her shoulders and thighs against mine. What is wrong with those fuckers? She paid for one seat and has no right to spread her bulk on to mine. In no mood to speak to her.. I sat at a tilt.. until that is.. she decided to rest her head on her son's shoulders (the son sitting on the seat on the other side) and curl her legs under her bulk..Little by little she started feeling more comfortable.. until I felt her moist smelly feet sneaking their way up my ass! I knew that woman wasn't straight. She was trying to get her sexual frustrations out on me.. but that wasn't to be.. I yelled at the prostitute and asked her to remove her stinky feet from my seat and not try and come anywhere close to my ass...or else.

Millions of hours later.. a knackered sleepy phanthom of the former me arrives in Canada.. to discover after waiting for almost an hour by the conveyer belt .. that my luggage wasn't there. Was it because of the Bahraini prostitute who didn't know where Toronto was? Was it the gay Air Canada guy who had something stuck up his anus? Did someone steal my bags while I was being questioned by immigration about what I was going to do in Canada?

That was the final straw.. until of course I went to the complaints desk to discover that the Lesbian and her son also had their baggage missing! Hurray!!!

What a BIN GAHBA start for the year!

* Ultra rude Arabic slur

13 comments:

June said...

BIN GAHBA is right. My sentiments echo yours, it's been bin gahba since the start of 2007. It's also been a bunch of other things but I will watch my tongue :P

Hope the rest of the year turns out great inshallah.

Bahrania said...

Bloody hell

Welcome back to Canada the best place to cool down hot-blooded arab anger

SillyBahrainiGirl said...

Thanks for understanding June.

Bahrania,
It's snowing alright...but I am still angry and livid!

Black Stallion said...

ah, Canada I wish I was there. Enjoy it. The Western part is really beautiful - lucky you!!!

Cerebralwaste said...

Glad your "home" SBG. Now get yourself down my way so I can show you and the good Dr. around this fair city!

SillyBahrainiGirl said...

Will do CW.. once I get the good Dr. to take time off work !!!

SoulSearch said...

SBG, loved how your decription of last year. Time flies, and we are left with memories of the days gone by, both the good and the bad. Your blog rocks...
Love,
SoulSearch

SillyBahrainiGirl said...

Thanks Soul Search! And welcome to the Silly blog!

TestingTFV said...

Hey, here is a cure for sitting next to fat people, I think you will like it: http://testingtfv.blogspot.com/2007/03/used-my-inflatable-airline-seat.html --TFV

SillyBahrainiGirl said...

Thanks for the idea Testing!

walkindude said...

I’ve been reading your blog for quiet some time now. I found it intriguing because you do at times have some valuable things to say.

Though I haven’t had time to read your blog recently. I happened to take a look at it today and found this post regarding your trip back to TO. I must say that I am disappointed in a couple things you point out.

First, why use the terms Indians or Pakistani or lesbians? I would understand it if you were living in Bahrain and coming up with these terms (having said that, I wouldn’t be reading you blog then). Because that’s how they talk their.

Yes, you’ve probably guessed it by now that I am from a South Asian decent and I love in Toronto. I was actually born and raised in Bahrain when I finished high school I was basically kicked out of Bahrain by the Bahraini government which I think was the best thing I got out of Bahrain because I actually found out that there was actually world outside.

One thing that I will never forgive Arabs in general for is there ethnocentric attitude for which they haven’t even deserved to have. I do understand why the Italians & Greeks have it at times because of their history and what they have given to the world. I’m not saying its justified for anyone to have it but I don’t understand why the Arabs have it. Is it because of their cultural heritage their positive influence of the world or is it because of the oil that comes out naturally.

Arabs tend to treat people from South Asian and even South East Asian decent as third class citizen. Which having lived in Toronto for about 10 years now, I find ridiculous and I still question. These people live in Bahrain are there because they have the right to be there. If you don’t want them there get your government to stop inviting them to to your country. They have the right to be the plane next to you and if you don’t like these people get yourself a plane. Im sure you can afford it from the oil money stipend you might/might not get.

And last but not the least, my aim wasn’t to belittle you in anyway, only to show you that belittling cuts both ways. Discrimination can go two ways. Next time if a fat lady is sitting next to you just leave it at that. You don’t have to guess her nationality or her sexual preference.

In the end you can write and say what ever you want, Hey, it’s a free country!

Thanks for listening.

walkindude

SillyBahrainiGirl said...

Thanks Walkin Dude for your valuable comment. Just to clarify a few things: I have nothing against Lesbians/Gays/Indians or people of any type or sexual orientation ..

sagarone said...

I might be late commenting here, but I have been reading your posts, Amira and one thing I notice is that just below the surface, you are as racist as the next person. But I don't think it is your fault. It is the environment you grew up in. I have noticed kids as young as three or four year old, classifying people as "hindi" here in Bahrain; and treating them according to their nationality.
I enjoy your blogging, so keep it up, because no one is perfect!

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