No Comment..

Oh My God!

Am I reading this correctly? What say the people of Wonderland?
This is a story from yesterday's GDN.. Got too busy to post it yesterday.. However, I strongly adhere to the saying.. better late than NEVER!

Policeman 'led family heists'

By NOREEN AL THAWADI

A BAHRAINI policeman of Syrian origin has been arrested after allegedly forcing his wife and five children to help in a series of thefts at supermarkets and shops across the kingdom. Police had been tracking him and swooped as he orchestrated a family heist at Geant hypermarket, Bahrain Mall.

They were alerted when he rented a car and pulled into the mall with his family on Wednesday, sources told the GDN.

Store security cameras showed him giving instructions to his wife and children to slip goods into a suitcase.

However, they were caught when they tried to leave the store with the suitcase without paying for the items inside.

A search of his house later turned up stolen goods worth around BD5,000.

"Electronics, perfumes, bags, toys and canned food items from a number of supermarkets and shops were found," said sources.

"He could not produce any receipts to prove that they were not stolen and all the items appeared to have never been used."

The policeman was yesterday understood to be waiting to be transferred into the custody of the Public Prosecution.

Initial reports suggested the man was a Geant employee, but it was later confirmed that he was indeed a policeman.

"All his movements had been observed from 9.30am until he was caught at around 2pm that day," the sources said.

"He was filmed on security cameras from the moment he arrived in the mall car park.

"He made his wife pretend that she was buying a suitcase and stuffed it with stolen items as they were shopping."

It was later revealed that he had given his Syrian wife BD40 to pay for the suitcase, which he intended to use to smuggle out the goods.

However, his wife and children - aged 16, 14, 10, five and two-and-a-half - were later released.

"This is because she is a mother of minors and they were actually forced to assist him against their will," said sources.

Meanwhile, Bahrain Mall head of security Mohammed Kadhem said it was not the first time he had stolen from the store and claimed he had lifted goods earlier this month.

"We suspect he has an accomplice who is thought to be a friend of his, but he managed to get away," he said.

"He stole goods worth around BD80 the first time and BD66 this time."

BEER vs. PUSSY: THE PLAYOFF

This is yet another silly e-mail in my inbox!


1. Beer is always wet. Pussy needs a little work. - One point to BEER

2. Warm beer tastes awful. - One point to Pussy

3. A really cold beer is satisfying. - One point to BEER

4. If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit. - One point to Pussy

5. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten Pussies in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere. - One point to Pussy

6. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any Pussy in public, you become a legend. - Onepoint to Pussy

7. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of Pussy he may buy you a beer. - One point to Pussy

8. You normally don't find old beer. - One point to BEER

9. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much Pussy and you'll think you've seen God. - One point to PUSSY

10. In most countries there's a tax on beer. - One point to PUSSY

11. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off - One point to BEER

12. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or can. - One point to BEER

13. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but it eventually it settles down. - One point to BEER

14. You always know how much beer is going to cost - One point to BEER

15. Beer doesn't have a mother - One point to BEER

16. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you've drank it - One point to BEER

FINAL SCORE: BEER 9 PUSSY 7

That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER

PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or discriminated, just remember that Beer would experiencenone of those feelings, let alone express them. -An extra point for BEER

With All Respect to Mules...

I just got this emailed to me from a dear friend. I know if he knew I had a blog and that I would be silly enough to post it, he wouldn't have sent it.

This reminds me of the dark days in Wonderland, when I had to smuggle books I wanted to read from London. It really is scary to be in a country which fears the written word.

Everytime I collect my luggage from the conveyor belt it had a huge X in chalk on it. There are two lines, the red and the green. I would flash (figuratively) a huge smile on my face and walk like a blonde over to the green line to get out.

With tight-fitting jeans and a sleeveless top, I would put on my silliest face of all times.

"You have an X on your bag.. what's in it?" a half-celled amoeba would ask.

"Stupid school books.." I would mutter.

"Can you open your bag?" he would continue in the charade.

"Can you help me with it?" I would wink back as we roll over the bag and I rummage through all my underwear until I get to the offensive material..

You should see the expression on those bozos faces when you show them books in English..

"But all this is in a foreign language," he would say.

"English is hardly foreign.." I would reply...

I really can't stand being interrogated by a twit who barely passed sixth grade..but I am getting side-tracked here..back to the poem.. It is by Ahmed Mattar, who though not silly, couldn't shut up! They tried. They couldn't. His poems are still banned here. By here, I mean around the Arab swamp..I mean around the stagnant Arab swamp.. but they are readily available in London.. and online.

I am sorry I wont be able to do it any justice by translating it.. so here it is..

بغــــــــل
للشاعر/ أحمد مطر

قال بغلٌ مستنير واعظاً بغلاً فتيا

يا فتى إصغِ إليّا...

إنما كان أبوك امرأ سوءٍ

و كذا أمك قد كانت بغيّا.

أنت بغلٌ

يا فتى... و البغل نغلٌ

فإحذر الظن بأن الله قد سواك نبيّا.

يا فتى... أنت غبي.

حكمة الله، لأمرٍ ما، أرادتك غبيّا

فاقبل النصح

تكن بالنصح مرضياً رضيّا

أنت إن لم تستفد منه فلن تخسر شيّا.

يا فتى... من أجل أن تحمل أثقال الورى

صيرك الله قويّا.

يا فتى... فاحمل لهم أثقالهم مادمت حيّا

و استعذ من عقدة النقص

فلا تركل ضعيفاً حين تلقاه ذكيّا.

يا فتى... احفظ وصاياي

تعش بغلاً،

و إلاّ

ربما يمسخك الله رئيساً عربيّا !

He's Gone!

Because I deserve it!

It's All in a NAME!

Funny that Muscati has asked in reply to a post below how members of the royal family are bestowed with the title shaikh and shaikha from a young age:

muscati said...
17 year old girls from the royal family already have their royal "Sheikha" title?
8:25 AM

SillyBahrainiGirl said...
tough! some people are born with titles and others aren't.. not a difficult fact in life to grasp I am afraid!

The reason I am bringing it up here is because I have had to endure some stomach turning experiences over the previous few days, which I didn't know how to air.. but now that Muscati is giving me some inspiration, here I go and help me God!

Some 18 year old (actually he is much older but sounded like a school drop out) third rate twit called the other day with some queries. He insisted on speaking in his broken English and demanded answers for a few questions there and then. I told him I was busy and to call later, when I had time to spare or leave his contact number for me to call back if and when I had the time and inclination to deal with a retard. I had to consult the 101 dealing with Dummies manual to brace myself.

To add insult to injury, he hissed: "Do you know who I am? I am a member of the ROYAL family!" Ouch! That really made me shit in my pants.. So I really had to end the conversation, because I had to rush to the toilet to puke!

The thing is.. people with class and title, don't force it upon other people to respect them or be nice to them. Respect is to be earned..not demanded.. whether you are from a royal or a peasant background!

Shawarma Boy...Look what I just had for dinner!

yummy... it's 10 minutes to midnight and I have just finished devouring several shawarmas in one go.. added to this there was this lovely dip (don't really know what the contents are !) and SIX sizzling chillies!

I feel so bad for Shawarma Boy in Boston, who I know is droolling right now!

And Blackie enjoyed dinner with us as well.. He loved it! Every bit of chicken shawarma I could spare!

The Other Side of the Coin!

Abu Aardvark has posted an interesting entry on Yemen today. Click on the the title of this post for a link. It really is scary what's happening behind all the closed doors in this part of the world.

I have visited Yemen twice before and am dying to return. I personally found it extremely safe. The first time I visited, I was with a group. The second time, I ventured off to Felix Arabia with my sister. I have really fallen in love with that country, its history, scenic beauty and its people that I am considering yet a third trip really soon.

I recall how people around me reacted when I said I was going to Yemen the first time. They knew I had lost it somehow but they thought that maybe there is hope. When I went off the second time, people rolled their eyes at me.. and everytime I express my wish to return, they gasp in anticipation as to what will I want to do next.

To go or not to go.. that's the burning question!

No Comment

This is from today's GDN:

MANAMA: A Bahraini teenager who died following a tragic car accident on Tuesday night was buried yesterday afternoon. Shaikha Salah Rashid Al Saad, aged 17, had just graduated from Naseem International School. She died yesterday from severe head injuries sustained in the crash and was buried in Muharraq cemetery.
It is understood she was thrown out of the car when it flipped over after hitting the central reservation.
The Mini Cooper was being driven by her friend Shaikha Aysha bint Salman Al Khalifa, aged 17, who lost control on Shaikh Khalifa Bin Salman Highway and hit the central reservation on the Burgerland flyover.
They were heading towards Seef when the accident happened and the car came to rest on the opposite side of the road.
Ms Al Saad was declared brain dead upon arrival at Salmaniya Medical Complex's Accident and Emergency Department and did not regain consciousness, sources told the GDN.
Meanwhile, Shaikha Aysha was transferred to the BDF Hospital and was understood to be suffering from concussion and back injuries.
A third passenger, who has been identified as a Kuwaiti named Dana, was discharged from SMC the same night of the crash.
No more details were available yesterday.

The cat has bitten Silly Girl's tongue. What is a 17-year-old girl doing behind the wheel?

Face it...Summer aint a time for fun in wonderland..

I really don't get it. Who is the moron who came up with the idea of summer festivals at a time when temperatures outdoors rocket to above 50 degrees Celcius?

Every year, some outrageous amount of money is siphoned down the drain or into some rich man's pockets, with promises of a summer to remember.

The poor citizens of wonderland - who can't afford to travel or whose offices don't allow them to travel in summer - sat with their mouths wide open, awaiting the summer surprises.

All they got were empty promises and what amounts to ZERO fun and entertainment. Silly Girl took her sisters and went to the shopping thing at the BIEC. Who would pay money for that crap? I feel I have been robbed. I walked up and down the fair for almost two hours and didn't see a single thing I remotely liked.

I want my BD2 (four tickets at the rate of 500 fils a ticket) back. NOW!

the futility of life in wonderland...

Not a great image... a horrific accident which made my sensitive tummy turn. The car was actually cut into half. A woman driver. She was hurt. Her three-year-old son was hurled out of the car. He died instantly.

Accidents like this leave me speechless. Of course the police won't comment. Was the boy jumping up and down on the front seat or was he where he should have been, buckled up at the back?

I don't have the answer...but whenever accidents like these happen, I roll my eyes and wonder.. why do those people make children. It is so easy. Cats and dogs make children on the street. I even witnessed two bloddy buzzing annoying flies making out the other day. Everyone is for a great fuck.. but you don't bring children and throw them in the fire with your own hands.

I am not sure about the facts here. I may be jumping to the wrong conclusion. But who could blame a silly girl for being so furious at such blatant carelessness and a total lack of concern for a life brought out to this world for a reason.

To be AND not to be...

To be AND not to be...this should be the question!

I am sure this is what Hamlet meant in his infamous statement: To be or not to be.

He must have got it wrong and everyone else... because in life, choices are unlimited. You can be something AND something else at the same time. You certainly can look like the innocent flower and be the serpant under it, even in a society where all that glitters is certainly not gold. There is no reason to restrict yourself to either this OR that. Look at all the contradictions around you and you will understand.

What am I saying? It is just a silly girl's opinion in a deMOCKratic progressive kingdom, where freedom of expression, choice and affiliations take on a new dimension everyday!

Oops... a fellow blogger hissing behind me is asking me: Do you have to politicise this?

You know what... I didn't have the intention to .. but now that you rub it in.. yes.. I do. And fuck you too!

I am turning green...with envy!

I am stuck in Wonderland this summer.. The fact that explosions are going off in some of the destinations I have pencilled in for this summer is not a mere coincidence. It is my bad luck rubbing off on them.

The situation is that the earliest I can book time off is towards the end of the year, after the weather has cooled down and I have melted. There are a few things going on which are making it impossible for me to leave, even for a wicked weekend.

All my friends are away... away and gone... and I can't help but turn green. Today I am a shade lighter than our Iguana. Our parrot is a shade darker though.

The last of my friends is now in Dubai, so I am literally cut off. She begged me to join her. She asked me to book a sickie... She lured me with a first class ticket and a stay in one of the top hotels there.. and I still couldn't make it.

When I called her earlier, she had finished her meeting and was enjoying a massage... And where the hell was I? Another late night at the office.

Here's a photograph I took from the Press Club in Dubai during my last visit:




Isn't it a shame that as citizens and residents of Wonderland, a land surrounded by water from all sides, and we are all dying for decent beaches?

Goodbye Neocounter!

This is the message I get when I try accessing the site!

"Forbidden

You don't have permission to access /neocounter/neocounter_page.php on this server.

Additionally, a 403 Forbidden error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request."

Any explanation anyone?

It's great to be free..

People are born free. I mean most people are born free.
And then they are shackled by tradition, dos and don'ts and lots of other things which really have no explanation in this world.
People cherish their freedom. Freedom usually comes with a struggle. In this struggle, blood is usually shed.
The question is: Is wonderland ready for freedom?
Before we can tackle this question, we need to bear all and openly discuss what our different concepts of freedom and democracy are for I don't think I share the same idealogy as those in the making the decisions for me and shoving them down my throat.

Come on guys... listen to a silly girl and bare all. Let's see what really lies beneath if we are to ever overcome this hurdle!

Once the naked truth is out there, hitting us in the face, may be then we can reach some common ground - perhaps even a solid one - which we can stand on and take firm steps forward.

London, Beirut, Sharm el Sheikh...

Hot summer destinations and no doubt sizzling this year..

Can someone sane tell a silly girl from wonderland what exactly is going on?

Cruelty to animals...cruelty to people

I am a natural animal lover.. I mean they show similar traits to humans but are at least 100 times better.

Also.. they don't nag. they don't complain. they don't stab you in the back and... they don't kiss and tell.

Here's a picture taken by a photographer colleague of mine a couple of hours ago.

Look carefully in the garbage. There is a cat, a few geese and other forms of wildlife...wrangled in the debris.
It breaks my heart .. but I know my hands are tied.

If I dare do stop him and tell him what the f***k he thinks he is up to treating animals like this.. he will turn around and tell me to 1- fucking mind my own business; 2- look at the way people in wonderland are living...

I really give up!

Have a great weekend ;)

Even in a deMOCKracy...

"...the definition of
stupidity is doing the same thing over and over
and expecting a different result each time."
Albert Einstein

deMOCKracy is...

when the whole world is laughing at us and we laugh back!

If Only...

If only I could have it my way ... for a day...

You see, at home, we have an animal farm. Altogether, there must be more than 40 souls living under one roof. There are the cats, the iguana, the fish (plural), the hamsters, turtles, lots of birds of different types and two puppies, from different ethnic and social backgrounds with one thing in common. They all belong to Wonderland and i presume they have its best interest at heart. They are above all, loyal citizens, who are sane, have no criminal record and are above 35.

Guys.. 2006 is round the corner. Please vote for Blackie, Iguana and the Turtles...

This is your chance! If you really believe in change then please vote.

Long live Wonderland!

Cat Fight in Parliament

I can't stop giggling today..

There is hope after all..

Our Honourable MPs closed parliament with a bang yesterday... oops... I mean with more than just a bang. There was actually a cat fight.

One MP asked the other SHUT UP and before he knew it, the other MP threw himself on the first MP and shoved him and pushed him and ... ah! good moments don't last for long... they kissed and made up!

What a shame.. I always thought a man stood by his actions and words. They did really had to make up?

It was like the end of term for those teenagers yesterday, they have passed their final exams by failing the nation and are looking forward for their final year.

Hope is...

an even bigger lie than deMOCKracy!

Support the Unemployed!

Believe it or not... this is a real excuse given by some job-seekers!

Introducing more silly people...

Over the past few months, I have opened up a lot to you guys.

I have shared with you my silly thoughts, mostly about things I can't write about openly in the closed backward surreal world of wonderland, which I proudly belonged to, and have even exchanged insults with people I don't even know.

I have even introduced you to Iguana the iguana, Blackie the cat and the Turtles family..

Today, I will introduce you to a silly couple.

Forgive me for I am not in a position to reveal those two jokers' names in a bid to protect their identity. I really don't want to have them accused of breaking the law and blogging in a magical kingdom where the rules and regulations changes according to whims everyday.

But I can tell you a few things about them: they are a lot of fun to keep and have given me and my family endless hours of entertainment. They are hilarious and do things which make you realise that they are people too..

They can be silly and I really feel like a pervert stalker at times when I keep watch..


Those two monkeys are also a handful.. They make me laugh as much as some of the other people at home.

The little girl is a pleasure to be around and the boy is no other than sillybahrainiboy!

Which reminds me.. I really have to update his blog ...something I may or may not do sometime soon ;)

A'ali Burial Mounds at stake...

The A'ali Burial Mounds were the centre of discussions at yesterday's parliament session ;)

The mounds date to the second and third centuries BC and here's the parliament's take on such a national treasure!

The Dilmun Civilisation (3000BC) was brushed aside by an honourable MP as that of "some ancient civilisation from another place and time" !!

**ADVICE ** Take your blood pressure pills first and then read on:

MPs clash over burial mounds

Parliament special by ABDULRAHMAN FAKHRI

MPs clashed last night over whether to 'build for the living', or to preserve all the country's ancient burial mounds.
The row flared over the government's proposal to turn just one of the A'ali burial mounds into an open museum.
Some MPs had earlier proposed that all the areas mounds be turned into a protected heritage site.
But MP Adel Al Mo'awda said the land would be better used to build homes for the living.
He was responding during a special evening Parliament session to a letter from Prime Minister Shaikh Khalifa bin Salman Al Khalifa, citing plans to turn one of the A'ali burial mounds into an "open natural museum".
The Premier said that the move was in line with the government's policy to preserve and develop historical sites.
"In line with the proposal, one of the (ancient) royal burial mounds that is owned by the government has been allocated to be turned into an open natural museum," the Premier said in his letter.
Preserve
He said that the museum would be created in co-operation with the Danish archaeological expedition.
The Premier said that the government, through the Information Ministry, would continue to purchase private land elsewhere with historic burial mounds, to preserve them as archaeological sites.
But Mr Al Mo'awda said that there was no need for the government to exert further efforts in turning burial mounds into archaeological sites.
"People are looking for land to build new homes and we here are preserving graves," he said.
"I agree with the government that one burial mound is enough for tourists to visit and the remainder can be allocated for housing projects."
Mr Al Mo'awda said that there was no need to preserve more mounds since all of them looked the same.
"The mounds in the remainder of the area should be removed, since housing for the living is better than the graves for the dead," he said.
Mr Al Mo'awda said he was not proud for the country to be associated with the burial mounds.
"We must have pride in our Islamic roots and not some ancient civilisation from another place and time, which has only given us a jar here and a bone there," he said.
Mr Al Mo'awda said that the sites of some of the burial mounds had become a haven for drug dealers and users, who were a menace to society.
But his comments, which were backed by Jassim Al Mawali and Jassim Al Saeedi, angered other MPs, who called for the protection of the sites.
"This is a national heritage and its preservation means the preservation of the country's historical identity," said MP Mohammed Al A'ali.
"The government has not been paying enough attention to archaeological sites, which resulted in the vandalism of most of the mounds."
MP Fareed Ghazi said that only six per cent of the burial mounds in A'ali remained.
"How can we as men of intellect and culture say such things about the A'ali burial mounds," he said.
Mr Ghazi said they belonged to future generations and that building new homes should not be at the expense of an historic site.
MP Abdulnabi Salman said that most of the burial mounds which had been destroyed had become land owned by "influential people".
"The government's response should be rejected and I consider their actions illegal," he said.
"How can you reduce one of the world's largest historical burial mounds to a small site?"

I am stunned... what do you say?

Latest Innovation ...

Just what I need right now!

Dumb and Dumber Poke their nose into politics

I haven't blogged any of my silly MSN messages for a while.. here's a conversation I had with a friend a few minutes ago regarding the unemployed committee's protests:

SBG says:

what are u so happy about ?

"dumbo" says:

they are so stupid ..

SBG says:

Huh?

"dumbo" says:

i know the whole thing but they shouldnt do it this way

SBG says:

any suggestions?

"dumbo" says:

we cant do anything.. let it be

SBG says:

great way of thinking…keep it up

"dumbo" says:

they will probably do some bombing soon and say that those ppl did it .. now they will become like alqaeda .. blamed for everything

PS:: I called him dumbo not because he is dumb.. but to protect his identity!

What about gays?

SOURCE: Pinched this from http://www.gabbahead.com/

The Press (depress)

This isn't a teaser. But I just saw this news item on the official Bahrain News Agency.

Take a deep breath and read it:

ZCZC
LLLL

GNA0014 / BAHRAIN-PM
PM HOLDS MEETING /


MANAMA, JULY. 17 (BNA) -- THE PRIME MINISTER SHAIKH KHALIFA BIN
SALMAN AL KHALIFA HAS ASSERTED TODAY THAT THE KINGDOM IS COMPLETING
ITS LEGISLATIVE FOR ORGANIZING LIFE IN DIFFERENT POLITICAL , SOCIAL
AND ECONOMIC ASPECTS THANKS FOR THE COOPERATION BETWEEN THE
LEGISLATIVE AND THE EXECUTIVE AUTHORITIES.
THE PRIME MINISTER ASSERTED THAT COOPERATION AMONG GOVERNMENT AND
BOTH SHURA AND REPRESENTATIVES COUNCILS WILL OVERCOME OBSTACLES WITH
NATION'S INTERESTS, ACHIEVING HM'S ASPIRATIONS AS WELL AS THE
CITIZENS' HOPES ON THEIR TOP PRIORITIES.
THIS CAME DURING A MEETING BETWEEN THE PRIME MINISTER AND CHAIRMAN
OF THE SHURA COUNCIL DR. FAISAL AL- MUSSAWI, CHAIRMAN OF THE
REPRESENTATIVES COUNCIL KHALIFA AL-DHAHRANI , A NUMBER OF MINISTERS
AND ADVISORS, SENIOR MEMBERS OF THE RULING FAMILY.
EM


17-JUL-2005 15:56
N
gnatext received on 7/17/2005 at 4:00:29 PM


Any one with any clue as to what the official news agency of the Kingdom of Bahrain is refering to in this article would get a special prize.

empty promises...

I had promised a friend of mine to write some promotional material for some charity event being planned in the not so near future. And.. I never did.

He sent me an e-mail yesterday saying he was ashamed he had asked me to do that. I now feel bad but I really am too drained to write anything positive at all.

It's all for a good cause.. and I recommended one of the charities which should be helped and as a sign of goodwill we went and visited them and took a list of their needs.. and as a sign of better will, he actually delivered his promised and went back with some of the goodies they needed and as a sign of best will, he didn't even tell me about that ;)

And silly me can't find the inspiration to write a few words for a good cause.

I should be changing my name from silly girl to ... I don't know ... I really need a break.

introducing deMOCKracy!

SBG would like to introduce a new word today.

Run for your dictionaries and try to find a meaning for the word 'deMOCKracy'!

Thanks to the new era of deMOCKratic reforms, it smacks us the people of Wonderland in the face every day!

Have a good one!

Introducing Blackie!

This is the latest addition to our extended family. My younger sister saw him at a friend's house when it was a kitty and decided that it would be ours.

A few days later she brought it home and my mother decided there and then that it was ours and that it will hence be called Blackie...

We tried to talk her into giving it another name but before long everyone started calling him Blackie and so Blackie is his name. I don't want any human rights activist to come and tell me that my mum is a racist for she sure aint!

Now Blackie is one playful kitty with a lot of time on its hands (paws). We took him to the vet the other day for some jabs and to get that feline monster declawed for you would tell from the scars on us that we live with Taliban in the same camp!

Look at what Blackie does everytime I use my laptop at home

Time for Omlette?

The Unemployed Committee will not take NO for an answer.
They will pelt the National Assembly building with rotten eggs and tomatoes whether the authorities allow them to do so or not!

I really am in two minds about this:
One, I would love to be there and cast the first stone..oops.. i mean egg. But Friday is really my only day off and it is sacred. I follow a ritual.
Two, I really don't know the direction of this committee...

Yesterday's warnings by the inferior ministry were clear: we will not tolerate the rally.
In defiance, the committee comes out and says: we will go ahead with our plans and stage the rally.

Here is a rough draft of the letter they should have sent to the inferior ministry to get approval for their rally:

"Dear government,
We will pelt the national assembly with rotten eggs and tomatoes to express our anger at those bozos passing the national budget without taking the plight of the unemployed into consideration.
We will do it on Friday, when the national assembly is closed and when the employed unemployment committee members are not at work.
This way we fulfil our promise to pelt the national assembly to the nation and the employed members of our committee will not lose time off work by taking part in this legitimate struggle.
We think this rally will serve more than one purpose. Most important, it will generate a lot of work opportunities for all the mercenaries employed by the inferior ministry. It will allow them to claim more overtime.
Best of luck,
The unemployed committee."

This is how the inferior ministry should have responded:

"Dear unemployed committee,
Expressing your opinion is a legitimate right guaranteed by the constitution of wonderland.
At present, a lot of the mercenaries employed by us are on holiday and have gone back to their countries loaded with as much stuff they could carry out of Ramez.
Let's please negotiate a better timing, when everyone is back and we can have a better showdown.
In the meanwhile, here's a recipe you could keep yourselves busy with until the next egg and tomato battle:
Sun-Dried Tomato Omelette

(1 serving)

• 3 eggs
• Fresh Mozzarella cheese
• 4-5 oil packed sun-dried tomatoes - cut in strips
• Several leaves of fresh basil -- chopped
• Salt and pepper
• Butter

Melt 2 tablespoons of butter in non-stick skillet.
Add a tablespoon of water to the eggs and whisk.
Pour eggs into skillet and let cook over medium-high heat until underside is set and beginning to brown.
Put several thin slices of the fresh mozzarella cheese on one-half of the egg.
Cover with chopped basil and sun-dried tomatoes. Add a dash of salt and pepper.
Fold the empty half of the egg over the filling and cook just until filling is warmed.

Have a great breakfast!!!

Best regards,
Inferior Ministry."

Meanwhile, the ministry sends informers and its henchmen all around wonderland to ensure that eggs and tomatoes are banned forever!

If only they had a silly person to run the affairs of wonderland...

Customer Service in Wonderland!

The my friend Dana and I decided to go for lunch to one of MY favourite places... I mean it was, until that eventful day.

We set off, ordered our starters and were anxiously awaiting our main dishes.. I was starved and behold when a silly girl is hollow inside!

I ordered sweet and sour prawn..and it was the last time I eat prawns.. Here's a picture of my food. I mean I am not used to taking pix of my food. But this particular dish had to be photographed.

Now you need to remember a few things:
1. I am a regular at this place (was)
2. I go there three to four times a week (used to)
3. They all know who the fuck I am

Zoom in . The offending dark thing on the right of the dish is a COOKED COCKROACH. The fucker was looking at me.

I call the waitress and ask her: "What's this?"
Some people don't lie. "A cockroach," she replies.

"What is it doing in my dish? I didn't order it," I say.
"I will call the manager madame.."

She goes off and three to four minutes later, the manager surfaces as I am busy clicking away at the creepy crawly drowning on the sauce of my sumptous dish.

Sometimes things are better left unexplained.
The manager opens her mouth and bloody frogs leap out. Here's her explanation: "I am really sorry about it. I am new. I am from Germany. Here, you have a lot of cockroaches. They are all over the kitchen. You have big ones. They even fly. In Germany, we don't have as many cockroaches in the kitchen..."

Will someone shut this cow up! Does she realise how much food I have consumed from their cockroach-infested kitchen over the years?

My stomach still turns everytime I remember that day...and I still want to strangle that cow. you know how she ended her monologe: "Do you want another dish?"

Excuse me? Does she think I am deaf or really just outward silly? She must be kidding.

I left the place and the cockroaches to her...Oops.. and I paid the bill...in FULL!

For Exchange

I couldn't believe my eyes when my eyes fell on the following ad and my mind grasped what it said. Here's the offending newspaper clipping:


It translates roughly to: "For Exchange in Hael (somewhere in Never Never Land). A Dodge (car), model 1991 for a housemaid (NEW) from Sri Lanka or India.."

Oh my God! I really am speechless.

What the f***k is going on here? A human being in exchange for a flipping car? Why is Sri Lankan or Indian life so cheap that it can be bartered with a handshake? I really am ashamed that people can be bought, sold and exchanged in the open market like cattle at this day and age.

Thanks to www.nasser99.com for bringing this tragedy to our notice.

Stop Violence Against Women

Look what I found while surfing:

I should have spotted it earlier i know... but now that I have found it, I will ask my friend to post it in a prominent place on this blog. (I am technically-challenged! Anyone out there listening?)

I want to post it somewhere where all the bastards with little penises can view it for I strongly believe that only men with little ones are those who abuse women.

Nagging Cows

A nagging woman is something I could live with... I mean I can take it... meaning I can withstand it. Let's admit it, most women nag (except for silly ones who don't have a care in the world!).

But a nagging man...

It really beats me. I am speechless.

Swaziland King in Wonderland

pssssssssssst...

Look who's here!

In case anyone doesn't know where/who/what swaziland is, here's a link:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/country_profiles/1069035.stm

For the Love of England!

I never mix work with pleasure... I mean, you know what I am talking about. But today I will break all the rules. I am tearing up my rulebook and throwing it out of the window.

Oh heck! So what... I am the news editor of a newspaper in Wonderland... and what makes it wonderful and keeps me going are the ridiculous things I have to deal with everyday!!

Today I got a call from an obnoxious piece of chicken shit. The bastard called to tell me that he will be present at the vigil being organised outside the British Embassy tonight (to express the sympathy of the people of Wonderland over the bombings) and if we could ensure that his picture is in the paper ;)

Excuse me? What? No please? No please with a cherry on top?

That bastard is only going to show his ugly face in order for it to be plastered all over the papers the next day. Well, I have news for him. He can buy advertising space. That's how newspapers make their money. As for me, I would rather resign than put his picture in my paper. I could print toilet rolls with his picture on them... but I really do respect my ... !

Guess I have said enough ...

Lemme go and get my rulebook back and plaster it together again! I am back to my old-self now. No more mixing work with pleasure!

Dream On...

I got this message on my phone a few weeks ago.. I didn't have the heart to delete it and you will know why.

I will post it here:

The three dreams of a man:
1. To be as handsome as his mother thinks
2. To be as rich as his child believes
3. To have as many women as his wife suspects.

hehehehe

Sorry Girls and Guys

Avid commentator Brian Akira has deleted almost all his comments.

I hope we can now cross this bridge and move on to other things in our lives.

I also sincerely hope that this incident has shown us all how volatile people are, though I still can't understand what drives people to such extreme measures.

If Brian was decent enough to withdraw his comments and call a truce.. then as the people of Arabia, I think we can just brush this incident off as a small sand storm.

On my part, I would like to apologise to each and every single one of you for the insults you got. Thanks Joker, Strav, ES, Odd A, Bahrania, aalman, bronxbob, Chanad, Desert Island Boy and last but not least Sume for *screaming* for some common sense in a world which is losing a lot of its humanity everyday.

Look Before You Leap

You know what happens when Brainless people leap before they look.

Here's a hilarious story to detract us from some of the ugliness out there and the hatred being spread by Brainless people:

This news has been brought to us by the washingtonpost.com

450 Sheep Jump to Their Deaths in Turkey

The Associated Press
Friday, July 8, 2005; 5:27 PM

ISTANBUL, Turkey -- First one sheep jumped to its death. Then stunned Turkish shepherds, who had left the herd to graze while they had breakfast, watched as nearly 1,500 others followed, each leaping off the same cliff, Turkish media reported.

In the end, 450 dead animals lay on top of one another in a billowy white pile, the Aksam newspaper said. Those who jumped later were saved as the pile got higher and the fall more cushioned, Aksam reported.

"There's nothing we can do. They're all wasted," Nevzat Bayhan, a member of one of 26 families whose sheep were grazing together in the herd, was quoted as saying by Aksam.

The estimated loss to families in the town of Gevas, located in Van province in eastern Turkey, tops $100,000, a significant amount of money in a country where average GDP per head is around $2,700.

"Every family had an average of 20 sheep," Aksam quoted another villager, Abdullah Hazar as saying. "But now only a few families have sheep left. It's going to be hard for us."

Disclaimer: This blog is not intended for retards. Retards reading this are doing so at their own risk. I am not responsible for brainless people misinterpreting things according to their whims.

To Brainless: With Love

It really is scary how things can be taken totally out of context and misinterpreted by people who claim that they are civilised educated citizens of the new world.

The key word to surviving in this global village is one: TOLERANCE. This is something some retards fail to comprehend because they cannot and will not see beyond their nose tips.

Brainless, for instance, falls in this category. He seems to be a man with lots of books and obviously more spare time, lack of comprehension and an attention span smaller than an ant.

He claims he reads. And to his credit, he urges us to read. But what is the point of reading when you don't understand what you are reading? Books and the written word are sacred and are not meant for people who don’t appreciate them. Many items come with a warning. Labels saying they are not meant for children, for instance, are plastered all over them. I seriously think that blogs and books and anything written should be stamped: NOT SUITABLE FOR RETARDS.

When Brainless launched his unwarranted attack on me, my religion, my culture and my race, I took a step back. He has the right to express and misunderstand what I wrote, just as I strongly believe I had the right to write what I did. I intended no harm. I couldn’t have had because my stance on things are clear. I don’t beat around the bush (a shrub – in case some retard misinterprets it).

The equation is simple in a democratic existence (not that I can claim that we have a democracy in Wonderland so I am free to act outside the rules of the game but I won’t): respect others and respect yourself and your freedom stops the minute it trespasses the freedom of others.

But Brainless did not take the hint. I even told him I didn’t want to stoop down to his level but he went on and on and crossed so many many redlines (see his attack on the Holy Quran below) that made me think (something I am capable of to a much higher degree than Brainless) about posting this here.

I am going back on my words and am clarifying a few points. Because I have self-respect and sympathy for the lesser beings, I feel I have some explanation to do if not for Brainless (who seems to be a hopeless case), then to others whom there is some hope for their quick recovery in the foreseeable future ;)

The facts are simple. Poor Brainless can’t read simple English. He only reads what he wants to read. That’s the capacity of his brain. What I wrote wasn’t in Shakespearean English. He was offended by:

They are now saying on TV that this morning's London explosion could be an Al Qaeda message.. message of what exactly?

I don't know.. I really don't for the last time Bin Laden was sited, he was in the company of the Bushes, all comfy and safe in the knowledge that the rest of the world was on fire.

I stand by it. I really do and it is not for the sake of being silly (which I admit I am on this site only).

Let me be more specific and rub salt into Brainless’ open wound: If Bin Laden is really the force behind this monster eating at our flesh (TERRORISM) and the American administration with all its power and might can’t locate him and finish the job it invaded Afghanistan and terrorised its children for, then he (Bin Laden) is being protected by the US.

Brainless. Your America is the Saviour of Mankind, the world’s super supreme power which has taken it as a noble task upon itself to enforce the ideals of democracy and freedom around the world. Your American men and women are giving up their lives to protect us from outside and inside forces. Your America is home for human rights organisations which come to our rescue when we are abused by our government. Your Americans came here, dug our oil wells (they kept a cut of course), taught us how to live like civilised people, taught us English and brought us modern conventions unheard of in this part of the world before. We all acknowledge this.

Brainless. Your America, like everywhere else in the world, has decent people and some not so. I am afraid you fall into the latter category and I am telling you in American (for you seem to only understand this language) to please FUCK OFF and not come to this blog again.

What next?

And we continue to ask what this world is coming to... and we continue to question what the end will be like.

The answer is simple. As long as there are hate-mongering people out there who continue to spread hatred and intolerance, the we will continue to sink.

The comments posted by Brian in response to my previous post is am ample example of what someone blinded with hate is capable of doing. This man poured his poison on a blog. One only wonders what he is capable of doing had we been sitting across a table, having a civil conversation, God forbid.

As long as there are people out there like him, catastrophes like the London bombings, 9/11, the war on Iraq, the plight of the people of Palestine, the bombings in Spain, the attacks in Saudi, the bomb blast of Bali (the list goes on) will continue...for it takes a few people blinded by hate to bring suffering of millions of innocent people from all over the world.

As it is, no one is immune from terrorism. In all the attacks I mentioned above, innocent people were killed. Normal people who woke up in the morning to go on with their normal everyday lives. None of them could have imagined what was awaiting him. None of them wanted that fate. None of them brought it to himself. None of them deserved such an ugly end.

People deserve to live in dignity, the only reason why many of us are probably blogging. It is a shame that one-celled people are abusing a system available to spread goodwill and global understanding for their self-destructive motives.

Such people are not welcome here. Remain where you are. Continue to burn in your sorrow and please, don't open your minds or your mouths. Spare us the frogs which leap for you have nothing to add.

The world is a much better place when you shut up!

What's Happening?

Don't really know what's happening..

Terrorist attacks in London this morning.. Iraq is on fire... Iran is developing its nuclear arsenal...the south of Lebanon is up in flames...Syria is in disarray...our Ambassador to Iraq has been shot..the Egyptian Ambassador to Baghdad has been kidnapped in an apparent change of strategy to attack Arabs (hehehe).

They are now saying on TV that this morning's London explosion could be an Al Qaeda message.. message of what exactly?

I don't know.. I really don't for the last time Bin Laden was sited, he was in the company of the Bushes, all comfy and safe in the knowledge that the rest of the world was on fire.

In Wonderland, the situation is more acute..with people biting each other and back-stabbing one another.. and the living eating the dead. Didn't I read somewhere that this doesn't happen anymore. That we have been domesticated as humans... that we are no longer cannibals?

Someone has been lying to me.. and I won't blame it on my parents, or my school, or society or the government. Thank God that I was brought up in the pre-democratic era in Wonderland.. so I can't even blame Parliament for lying to me. And now that I am old and you can't teach an old dog new tricks.. I can't blame them for learning new concepts..can I?

Silly me. I shouldn't admit to anyone that I read, that I know, that I think. I shouldn't even be speaking my mind ;)

Forgive me Lord for I have blogged.

*** This is a coded message. We are being watched. I am trying to confuse the spies. They can't read English.

dot.com.bh?

Many e-mail addresses in Wonderland end with (dot)com(dot)bh ...and many people don't seem to grasp this simple fact. It annoys me everytime I have to tell someone my email address over the telephone.

"But I send you e-mail.. why u no get?" they scream on the phone.
"Which address did u send it to? I still don't have it" I reply.

"Oh damn Batelco" says the angry caller.
"Do whatever you want" says me.

"But I send u email" says angry caller.
"But I no get email" says me.

"I send u email to *****@*****.com" says angry caller.
"U should send it to *****@*****.com.bh" I reply.

"Oh..I see.. I see.. I understand.. dot come dot Bee dot Heaych like in HOTEL"
"Yes...dot bee dot Ayche like in HELL!"

A True Arab Tradition

SBG is introducing a true Arab tradition today. Here's to ....



butt kissing!

The shame is that this picture needs to be adapted.. and all those people should be dressed in the ghutra (head dress) and the Thobe (dress).

Now before someone comes out of nowhere to accuse me of Arab bashing.. sit back and think to yourself: when was the last time discussed something with an Arab without having to go back in circles and ending up with the infamous In Shaa Allah (God Willing)?

And this In Shaa Allah? Did it ever materialise?

To be fair, non-Arabs are also prone to this behaviour... I wonder where they learned it from.

In other matters, I have been sulking at home since Saturday... and am back in action just today. Not fully though.

I get out in the morning. I try to start my car. It doesn't start. Mummy drops me off at work ;) hehehe Well, what are mothers for? But then, it's mother-daughter bonding time.

"What's wrong with you?" asks Mum.
"What's wrong with you?" replies SBG.

"What's wrong with your car?" asks Mum.
"What's wrong with my car?" replies SBG.

"Will you buy a new car?" asks Mum.
"Why should I buy a new car?" replies SBG.

"But you always buy a new car when you are fed up with your old one (hehehe)," says Mum.
"But I am not fed up with my car. I don't want a new car. I want a new life..." replies SBG.

leave..stay...leave...stay

There are obnoxious people out there who make me wonder why I should be wasting my time, my energy and my skills doing everything I do everyday - from the minute I wake up in the morning.

As usual, I am rushing this post because it is past my bedtime..but I hope I manage to make some sense in a largely senseless world. Fridays tend to be busy for me because as a real person, with a real life, living in a real world, I have one day off per week (if I am lucky), during which I have to catch up with everything and everyone I missed during the week in one day.

Some joker, and I won't tell you who, has left a message on this blog with the question: if you don't like it (wonderland) so much, why don't you leave.

At first I ignored it. Who would listen to a fool? But then the silly girl in me started to think about it. Why don't I leave?

leave
stay
leave
stay
leave
stay

That's the question.. I don't have the answer for. YET.

The truth is I get a lot of chances to pack up and leave. The last was an offer in a neighbouring country only a silly girl would turn down. It's almost four times my income now..with a lot of perks. But then I think..if people like me who are loyal to the sand of wonderland and its real people leave, who will be left in this place? Do I leave it to the ass-lickers and the creepy crawlies and the fools, who are running us to the ground everyday with their knee jerk reactions.

I know I can't change the world. I also know I can't continue to take things to heart and care about things for much longer, because they are taking a toll on me.

Warda from Oman wonders if it is a mid life crisis while Ba7rania reckons it is a state of never-ending PMS... Sume says I need a break and my grandad says he wants to see me happy - again.

Maybe the answer is in packing up and giving my back to this cesspit..where things go around in a vicious circle and where the sun is never given a chance to shine.