SBG on the Roll ...

Jacko Whacko opens his heart and pours all in an EXCLUSIVE interview with Silly Bahrain Girl

Visiting Wonderland has been a long-cherished dream for the elusive King of Pop Jacko Whacko.
Here are the highlights of the interview:

• After my last experience with the media in an open democracy, I found Wonderland, where the media is controlled and NO ONE will intrude my privacy, wonderful
• In Wonderland, nothing is really what it seems.
• Instead of the Great Wall of China, you have a Malkiya Wall
• I loved the pearly white sand of the public beaches. Amazing you have an island but no beaches
• I didn't quite enjoy my stint at BJs..who were those weirdos there
• I was happy with the attention I got..even though a few of the children hid behind their parents when they saw me. SillyBahrainiBoy in particular was shocked with my make up
• The highlight of my trip was bar hopping with Saeedi & Co. He is a kool guy underneath that wool
• I was banned from entering the oncology ward in Salmaniya Hospital and I don't know why. I assume WONDERLAND is a place where the accused is guilty until proven innocent..
• They sealed all the balconies at the place where I was staying out of fear that I may repeat the stunt I pulled with my son before
• My children can speak Arabic..I still don't understand what "Seek bil Khair" means

Best quote:

"I don't want to go among mad people," Jacko remarked.

"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat.

"We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."

"How do you know I'm mad?" said Jacko.

"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."

bubbling with excitement!

What is jacko whacko doing in Wonderland?

I have been bombarded with calls... lots of them, from friends and foes, asking about what he could possibily be doing here.

Is he here for the weather, scenery, nightlife, babes, social life, a chance to mingle with the stars, mediate, convert to Islam, learn more about the Arab world, stage a concert ???

I don't know... we have exhausted all possible avenues.

Will he be dining at Bamboo tonight for BD12 each (inclusive of drinks)? or go down the road and have a Shawarma in shawarma alley and then shake his hips at BJs?

You see I have his night all planned for him...or will he join us at Trader Vic's for the Singaporean Sling and the Slippery Nipples?

Don't know... ur guess is as good as mine!

Alice in Wonderland!

Guess who's here?
Yes, Jackco the Whacko decided to take refuge in Wonderland after a gruelling court case which brought him out of the seclusion of Never Never Land to the front pages of newspapers the world over.
When I told hubby about this last night on our way to one of our favourite restaurants for a serious dig in, he pointed to our surroundings and said: "why would anyone want to come here?"
hehehehe
I know I would be killed for blogging this... forgive me God for I have blogged ... but that smartass made a point.
What's there in Wonderland for a reclusive tourist? Like even here everyone would recognise Jackco... unless his face melts in the heat?
Now that the GDN unleashed the beast and announced it on its frontpage... let's see what happens? This could bring in more publicity to Wonderland than even the F1!

Among the highlights of his visit are as follows:

1. give talks to children at schools
2. distribute gifts to patients at the children's oncology unit at the general hospital
3. roam around in an Abaya (black cloak) to scare away potential holiday-makers
4. teach the justice system in Wonderland a lesson or two about fair trial

Hope.. What hope!

What a befitting end to the day!

Did anyone read today's newspapers. A citizen of wonderland kidnapped his 11-year-old daughter and married her off against her will (duh!) to her aunt's (the father's sister) husband!
This is Haram, Haram, Haram .. in Muslim Wonderland.. such things should not happen.

And what follows is even more ridiculous! The pubic prosecutor (not a typo) arrests the father and one of the witnesses.

1. Why wasn't the horny mulla who authorised the illegal marriage not arrested?
2. Why wasn't the prostitute of an aunt who is pimping on her 11-year-old niece not arrested?
3. Why weren't the two witnesses arrested.. why only one?

Come on.. you are either Muslims or fucking hypocrates. Time to draw the line..fellow wonderlandis!

What a Cow!

I am such a cow ... I mean ... a big fat cow.

I was in a bad mood today and a friend of mine called and I yelled at him and hung up..for no reason.

I can't explain why I was in a bad mood. I don't know whether it was because I got out of bed from the wrong side or what.. but I was just so depressed today.

Like, there isn't a reason to get depressed. All is great in Wonderland and the Wonderlandis are content and not worried about anything other than their own petty little pleasures and problems they create with the government. They bring it to themselves really and should grow up and leave the poor government alone for once.

On my way out of our house, I bumped into a friend of mine in our neighbourhood. She has just been operated on for cancer and was giving me an update on her condition. I don't know what on Earth overcame me but I told her all about a close and dear one who has just been diagnosed with this ruthless disease a bit too late and about her struggle in coming to terms with it. Try explaining to a 20-year-old that her days are numbered and see what reaction you get.

I don't know whether it was only the futility of the situation that made tears trickle down my face all the way to the office or that ugly bastard who cut through my lane and gave me a wink with his sidelights...

And then things only got worse .. with one phone call after a meeting after a phone call and before I knew it the day is over.

The casualties for today are: my outburst of emotions on my dear friend who is the only one on Earth who checks on me every single day, sunshine or rain.

Why do I bring more heartache to myself when I could do without it most?

Crime and Punishment

A wise man once told me that God created man to suffer and created women to ensure that he does.

I don't really know where this man got this brain fart from but from what I notice all around me, he is wrong on both counts.

God did not create man to suffer. On the contrary, in our backward societies, men never suffer. It is always that evil sinful woman who made Adam eat the forbidden fruit who has to bear the consequences of her wrong-doing.

Life is a Bitch!

I am furious... boy am I furious..

This village prostitute has just hung up on me. You know what annoys me the most in Wonderland (at least today).

It's second or even third rate people who think they rule the world and walk around as if something hard and long has been stuffed up their ass just because they are in positions which they got to not by merit or hard work but by bending over in all directions.

This woman was adamant that she had sent a fax with a request for June 25. I tell her the fax in my hands reads June 26. I ask her whether she wants me to refax the fax she faxed me back to her to check the dates. I am kind enough with her to tell remind her that today is June 25 .. and that she may be confused with the dates.

She spoke with a slur and I think it is because of having a lot of bubbly over lunch in the heat.. So I was kind to the old hag. I even told her that my colleague is English and she can verify with him that the fax in my hands read June 26... but the prostitute was adamant..

This is the problem with people. They only see what they want to see or what they believe they can see. Like children, everything is from their eyes only...from their own limited perspective.

Well this piece of white trash can take her fax and do whatever she wants to do with it...for I have no time nor energy to waste on rejects from the West.

While I Was Asleep...

I heard from someone..that the best things in life happen when you are asleep...or when you aren't looking..

For me, I feel God sheilds me from all the evil that is happening around. I was down with the flu for a few days.. I was confined to bed and I had no access to TV, internet and of course our one-sided self-censored newspapers.. which I really wanted to do without for a few days.

So I wake up on Wednesday and I go to work.. and I surf the net and I talk to people.. and I do a double-take.. Which century are we in.. the silly girl in me asks.. What happened while I was asleep. Why were those people attacked so brutally .. Yes, they did bring it to themselves by protesting by the gates to heaven. They should have been more selective.. chosen a better location...somewhere not as sensitive as that.. and for a cause not that deep.

Here are a few pictures from here and there about what happened while I was asleep...

This is Nabeel Rajab being attacked by the riot police:


And here are some of the protestors who were attacked by police:

The beauty of democracy

The beauty of democracy and living in this great democratic era of change and reform is that I can do whatever I want - provided it is in line with the rules and regulations, legislation, current draconian practises, values, traditions and what my neighbours and colleagues and friends and extended family approve of.

How's this for today's brain fart?

This is one aspect of democracy in Wonderland...

Kefaya - Enough

I woke up one morning in a rather optimistic mood - there is hope, I lied to myself. There is light at the end of the tunnel. There is room for a future where you can be truthful with yourself and others, and express your ideas and engage in meaningful exchanges with people without being stereo-typed and labelled.

I dreamt of a world where people could share their ideas and emotions and develop the way they see the world and learn from each others experiences in a civil and courteous manner.

I was wrong. I was wrong in this and in many other things in life. I have this feeling that I have been playing Chinese whispers with people. Or perhaps I am totally out if it and don't have anything constructive or coherent to say.

I will therefore be deleting entries here ..a few entries at a time. I still haven't made up my mind as to whether I will keep this blog or not.

Thank you all for your comments, kind words and support over the previous few months. See in around, in another world maybe.

Bahraini women leaving their mark...

There was a massive rally in Hamad Town today calling for constitutional reforms... the third in a series of protests so far.

The last time such an event was held, the government voiced its objections that the constiutional reforms rally about the unconstitutional constitution was unconstitutional. I know this sound so retarded but this is exactly what had happened and I am reporting it here because this is where I can say whatever I want regardless of what anyone thinks... well, at least UNTIL I DECIDE I DON'T WANT TO SPEAK NO MORE.

Two things drew my attention...actually more... thanks to bahrainonline's coverage.

Women at the rally.. lots of them.. look... all covered up:



Then.. there was this looming question no one had answered before... where is the massive flag made in china and paid for by a telephone company. I saw it's son/daughter here:



Also... there is another picture with lots of people wearing bright yellow hats.. I couldn't figure that out..

For more pix check out the banned bahrainonline website. You should know how to get in. A school child taught me how to do so.. Shame I have to ask children to help me do things and access sites the government is trying to block. Shame the government is blocking sites in this open media age. Shame. Shame. Shame.

The Wall

No. I won't make the Europeans angry. I am not writing about the Berlin Wall. I can't afford to get the Chinese angry. Their population is growing by the second. The Great Wall of China is thus out of the equation.
The Palestinans and Israelis need not worry as well because I won't want to get them angry tonight.
And the people of Wonderland. You should thank God you are allowed to breathe.
Here's a little on the Malkiya Wall, courtesy of a blogger I can't name - not because I don't want to make her angry but because I don't know her name ;)

Here are the links: http://tibacenter.temp.powweb.com/ashiq/wall/wall3.MPG

and

http://members.lycos.co.uk/oneclicknuke/vod/

Enjoy.

10pc Arab men 'impotent'

This is also taken from today's GDN and for some obscure reason I want to post it here for safe-keeping ;)

MANAMA: More than 10 per cent of Arab men are suffering from sexual impotence - among the highest rates in the world, it was claimed yesterday. Cairo University's virility and fertility consultant Dr Ibrahim Mohammed Fahmi cited hypertension, diabetes, smoking, stress and alternative herbal male potency medicine as the main causes.
He also said 25 per cent of diabetic Arabs are sexually impotent.

Apologies Buran

I feel so sorry for Buran. I know I am technically on holiday but I really can't help it.
Read this for a sneak preview of how our courts function in Wonderland.
The rise and fall of Buran could make a movie, a case study of justice delayed and denied and lots of other things.
I am glad Buran is not a human being who was left in limbo because of a system which doesn't know whether it is coming or going. I am glad Buran is not a child in the middle of a custody battle who had to endure three years not knowing whether he would be given to mummy or daddy or fed to the wolves. I am glad Buran carries a lot of memories for people around the world and that the humiliation it has been subjected to in Wonderland may generate some international publicity to show how things really work here.

Buran has been up there and its demise was in the Land of Immortality - where nothing changes - even in the era of democracy and reform ;)

Enough from me .. This is what appeared in today's GDN about Buran...

Shuttle dispute drags on
By ABDULRAHMAN FAKHRI
A JUDGE has ruled that a dispute over the ownership of a Russian spacecraft cannot be heard in Bahrain - three years and eight court hearings after the case was first brought here. Two parties are claiming ownership of the space shuttle Buran, which has been stranded in Bahrain since 2002.
However, the High Civil Court declared yesterday that the case could not be heard in Bahrain due to a clause in the contract between the two parties.
The clause states that any dispute between them should be referred to the London Court of International Arbitration.
Buran has been stored in parts at the Sitra storage yard of Pico, which negotiated with Singapore-based Space Shuttle World Tour to bring it here in July 2002.
Russian company NPO Moiniya originally sold the shuttle to Space Shuttle World Tour, which brought it to Bahrain to display it at the 2002 Summer Festival.
The two companies fell out over ownership of the shuttle when NPO claimed Space Shuttle World Tour failed to make all the payments.
Lawyer for the Singaporean company, Maha Jaber, claimed the Bahrain judiciary could not resolve the issue under the terms of the contract of sale.
A judge yesterday ruled in support of that argument, which means the case will now be moved to the UK.
However, lawyers for Space Shuttle World Tour have the option of appealing the decision within 45 days in the High Appeal Court.
If that is unsuccessful they can then appeal to the Cassation Court, which will issue a final verdict.
The case was first filed in the Bahraini courts by NPO in 2002 to prevent the shuttle being sent to Thailand as a tourist attraction.
Buran has been stranded here ever since after NPO requested that it remained here until the dispute was resolved.
Before coming to Bahrain, Buran was shipped to Australia in 2000 to become a tourist attraction, but failed to earn enough money to keep it open.
Russia's only large-scale reusable spaceship flew just once in 1988 in an unmanned mode.
The Buran arbiter has a mass of 75 metric tonnes, a payload capacity of 30 metric tonnes, a length of 36.4 metres and a wingspan of 24m.

On Holiday ;)

Congrats Silly Girl on a well-deserved break.

I am out of this cesspit for a few days. Flying over to Oman. Anything anyone from there?